I write books. Sometimes.

My Hyphen

Sat, Apr 11, 2009
Read time: 2 min.

Twenty-six years ago, without consultation, a hyphenated last name was bestowed upon me. As a child, this hyphen proved to be inconvenient at best. When my classmates and I were instructed to line up alphabetically, neither I nor anyone else knew whether I should take my place in the B portion of the line, or the H portion. Similarly, every time I went to a dentist appointment, the receptionist would ask me whether my record was filed under “H” or “B.” I never had an answer. At this young age, I often mistook my unique name for a burden.

As I got a bit older, however, I began to grow more attached to my hyphen. Whereas most names were easily forgotten, people seemed to remember mine. They didn’t necessarily remember how to pronounce it, but upon hearing it, they frequently said, “Oh yeah, you’re that girl with the hyphen.”

When I reached college age, the hyphen again presented problems. People started assuming that I was married. Not only did this wreak havoc on my dating life, but it also resulted in an endless string of inquiries as to why I decided not to take my husband’s last name. Then in law school, the situation worsened. My classmates began noticing that I didn’t wear a wedding ring. Suddenly, rumors of my divorce ran rampant, and everyone began speculating as to what happened to my ex-husband.

All of this background information leads me to the real point of this blog: my hyphen, my precious hyphen that I’ve endured so much to preserve, was stolen. That’s right, stolen. To make matters worse, it was stolen by the one person who I thought would uniquely understand the importance of maintaining the hyphen: my very own brother. He too has had the pleasure of the hyphen in his life. Yet, when he signed us up for our domain name, he failed to include the Hartzell-Baird hyphen. When I confronted him about what I assumed must have been an oversight, he stated that the hyphen was simply too difficult to use as a url.

I am speechless. The shock has yet to fully set in. Although I know not yet how, I plan on seeking revenge for this betrayal.

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