Suzanna has accused me of being derelict in my blogging duties. Never one to shirk my obligations, I promptly began work on writing my own entry. This, of course, immediately brought on a severe case of blogger’s block.
I dedicated the following weeks to desperately searching for anything to write about, but to no avail.
Sure, I came up with some ideas. I even wrote a few drafts. But nothing worth posting.
I began with an introduction to sorting algorithms, but had difficulty getting past bubble sort without making the entry prohibitively long. Undeterred, I moved onto an essay regarding my own personal views on Constitutional interpretation and the Supreme Court’s role in government. However, Suzanna felt that my explanation lacked a tenable justification.
I then decided to create a blog entry of a less technical nature. Looking around the blogosphere, I found that one popular technique for creating blog entries was writing top 10 lists.
Consequently, I decided to write a list of the top 10 things more annoying than that “Five Dollar Footlong” jingle that Subway has been cramming down our throats for the past couple years. Unfortunately, all I could come up with was “the word ‘blogosphere’” and “people who make Monty Python references in casual conversation.” Besides, I felt slightly guilty about criticizing Subway after they rode in on their white horses, the sunlight reflecting off of their shining armor, and valiantly saved “Chuck” from cancellation.
Blogging was proving much more difficult than writing fiction, because, let’s face it, with fiction I can always just make stuff up. So what was I to do? Throw my hands in the air and surrender? Pay someone else to do it? Wrangle together an infinite number of monkeys and lock them in a room until they drafted something worthwhile?
Then, in a flash of brilliance, it hit me: write a cheap cop-out blog about how I couldn’t think of anything to write about.
Were you seriously wondering what I was going to decide to write the blog about? Shame on you.