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Mon, Dec 24, 2018
Read time: 15 min.
I’m now coming up on the first Christmas where my son has been cognizant enough
to give a damn, and so lately we’ve been reading that beloved Christmas classic,
How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
This is what got me thinking about the Grinch again, and, as any of my regular
readers know, it’s when I s...
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Fri, Jun 08, 2018
Read time: 6 min.
Despite the infrequency with which I post new blogs–and I’ll be the first to
admit that I’m a terrible person who misses every writing deadline that he sets
–it’s not often that it takes nearly half a year to write a single post that
I’ve already started.
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Tue, Oct 31, 2017
Read time: 5 min.
I’ve previously discussed my wife’s love of Hallmark Channel Christmas movies.
Incidentally, to those who have read this blog and relied on it for
investigative research purposes, I’d like to apologize and issue a minor
correction.
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Fri, Sep 22, 2017
Read time: 4 min.
Recently, our apartment complex was acquired by another company, and in
celebration, they decided to renovate everything. Oddly, this even included
apartments that were still occupied, as opposed to the usual strategy of
landlords everywhere, which is to wait until you move out, and then make the
ap...
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Sat, Jul 29, 2017
Read time: 1 min.
For those who don’t live in the Indiana area, up until recently there was a
chain of grocery stores called Marsh. I say recently because as of this month,
Marsh is now a chain of empty buildings. This is either a surprising new
business strategy, or the result of their descent into bankruptcy; eithe...
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Sun, Mar 19, 2017
Read time: 3 min.
I recently came to the disturbing conclusion that there is – for a limited time
– such a thing as “Peeps Oreos.” Oreos, you may recall, are those cookies with a
mediocre cream filling sandwiched between two godawful chocolate cookies, and
Peeps are those flavorless marshmallow chicks you get around ...
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Sun, Feb 05, 2017
Read time: 7 min.
OREO…
Oreo found her way to my wife while she was still in college, after bouncing
around between homes that had cast her out because she wasn’t litterbox-trained.
The truth, as it turned out, was that she was perfectly litterbox-trained, it
was just sometimes hard to tell, owing to her chronic, ...
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Sun, Jan 29, 2017
Read time: 4 min.
So my son has recently turned three months old (and, coincidentally, this is my
third post about parenthood, which I think officially makes this a mommy blog).
At the moment, we’re still in the middle of what I refer to as the “My Pet Baby”
phase.
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Fri, Dec 16, 2016
Read time: 3 min.
In order to help you get into the holiday spirit, I thought I’d ruin all your
favorite holiday songs by telling you what they’re about. And, of course, by
“favorite holiday songs,” I mean the songs that are forcibly thrust upon you as
part of the media’s bizarre Solstice ritual of replaying decades-...
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Tue, Oct 25, 2016
Read time: 3 min.
My wife recently decided she was tired of being pregnant, and subsequently
insisted upon giving birth. Unfortunately, as our son’s supposed “due date” came
and went, she became increasingly eager to get the child out of her.
She tried all of the standard tricks: getting trapped in an elevator, havi...
